i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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