Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
