yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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