AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
