Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
