1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
