Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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