can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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