I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
