she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
