the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
