you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you win again, gameday.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
