i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
