ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize