and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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