I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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