my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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