Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
