oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
