Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I bet he comes in French.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
