i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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