can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
