you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
