i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
