im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
