you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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