I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
