What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
