So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
