can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
