you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
