nut hugger
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize