small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
