From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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