she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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