My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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