i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I love you.
Bad choice
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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