I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am naked and annoyed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
