HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
where are my eyebrows?
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