You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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