I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
