What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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