he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
