come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
