mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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