Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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