She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
