i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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