Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
