i don't like sucking hair
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
