Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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