i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
