I'd wear matching sweaters with you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she told me i tasted like america
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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