We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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