you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
