Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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